I'm still catching up on sleep. It's been a long week, full of many different kinds of stress, I'll probably manage to get over it.
At the moment, I'm NEARLY on the way to a panic attack, but those are rare for me (more common for some people I've known) and I'll probably dodge it. But that has nothing to do with this forum.
I am going to compare this place to a related experience, but I'm not trying to shame anybody or be ungrateful-- if you know exactly what I'm referring to, please don't mention it.
I've been fiddling (far too much really) with some settings, most of it isn't fun but SOME of it is, and it's been a huge learning experience. It's actually helped-- I'm better off than I was, in terms of things working and in terms of my options for how to make them work the way I want.
Most, not ALL of the help I got was from here. This place (yay!) asked less, and gave more. I'm grateful in both instances-- the difference is, I feel better here and I want to leave the other place.
I've made several assertive statements about my abilities, need for putting this aside and working on something else, in both instances someone has been helpful, though it was a little pushier (not here) where I actually got LESS information. It's not either/or, I would have learned (a little bit) less if I'd only talked about the problem here.
I'm very happy with the outcome, but I neither have enough information to file a useful bug report nor do I have the patience or level of calm needed to pursue this further. In fact, I'd rather give OpenBSD my laptop (it's not a useless thing) than go to more trouble to diagnose something that's fixed.
This isn't out of laziness, it's out of being overwhelmed. I'm not just tinkering with a single machine, I've spent the past few weeks migrating lots of machines to a brand new OS, and this is all pretty new.
I'm not saying the other party is a bully, just that it was so much easier here. I volunteer a lot, in the days when I liked Debian (let's never speak of those again) I maintained a number of machines at a homeless shelter-- partly because it was a platform I found reliable (at the time) and partly so I could help spread Debian (I'm sorry) in other contexts and settings.
What I'm saying is, I do what I can-- whether it's time or money or effort. But some people make it easier, and that's what people here have done-- you all have made the ordinarily tedious act of spending hours debugging a HW/SW quirk into as much of a treat as it could be, no joke.
And it's because you're not pushy. So I don't want to just say "thank you"-- I want to implore you: keep doing it that way. Not just with me, I mean it's a very nice approach. I've been challenged to try new things and I enjoyed that, but nobody acted like I would be any lesser if I you know, gave up on the problem. That made it so much easier. Thanks!